Marx and the Dragon

If the internet is to be believed fantasy worlds are awash with half-dragons whose mothers were raped by their fathers, leading them into a life of angst, vengence, promiscuity and super-powers... And it's all daddies fault! I could go on about how this is somewhat demeaning to women who have been raped and even moreso to those who have had a child from that union and at some point I will, but for now lets tackle something of a pet peev of mine: Dragons!

Admittedly since Dungeons & Dragons becames the rpg superpower du jour we've all felt a little obliged to have both dungeons and dragons in our campaigns. Indeed in my first DM'ing session I rushed gleefully to hunt down a dragon we could fight at level 1 as the boss of said dungeons. Dragons are, both in folklore and fantasy fiction, often symbols of incredible power. Heroes wear dragon-skin boots to protect theit little tootsies, dragon tongue is a powerful magical component, and dragons eyes can see into the future and will see a seer sell his daughter to the crew of the S.S. Whoresalot to possess them.

The problem I have with dragons is when they're treated as some kind of mystic force, as wise demi-gods of untold power; cast you eye at D&D's gold ancient-wyrm and tell me it's not a touch overpowered.I prefer my dragons more bestial than intelligent, I certainly dislike the possibility that they might go around raping comely wenches and sire a generation of gibbering anime fans. That said the dragon; a winged serpent; is an old christian allegory, though St George's dragon ate wenches rather than sexually assaulting them. Still there is an underlying sexuality there, but it's not my favourite way of looking at them.

As a boy I read The Hobbit, as you do when you're a boy, and Smaug sat on his mountain of gold resonated with me, he was greedy, clad with jewels and sleeping on gold and treasures innumerable, he was beyond greedy; he was the upper class. Marxism's never been my favourite philosophy but I do like to 'diss' capitalism; if only to prove I'm down with 'the kids'. So my dragons tend to be personifications of greed, money, food, jewels they'll take it all because they can; then sit in a dungeon and wait for some plucky hero to come and fight them because we all know; that's all dragons do.

Hmmmm... Needs some work...